Remembrance
by Chilled to the Bone
Summary: Feeling alone, Cloud ventures back to Shinra Mansion to sort out his mixed feelings. Too bad he’s not the only one there... [heavy shonen-ai, CloudAerisSeph triangle, implied yaoi.]
1. OneWinged Angel

Disclaimer: FFVII belongs to SquarEnix...that's why I'm gonna work for them someday!

Author's Notes: Yup, yup. Another shonen-ai. This is my third one...am I obsessed or something?? Anyway, I love Sephiroth to pieces, but I'm also a big fan of Cloud/Seph pairings. ;; Yeah, I'm weird. I also like Cloud/Aeris, so I figured "What the hell. I'll throw both pairings in my Great Goda'mighty Blender of Creativity and see what pops out." So here it is. Enjoy...I'll be sleeping... huggles blankie and Sephiroth-plushie Zzzzzzzz....

Remembrance

Chapter One: One-Winged Angel

_Finally..._

Cloud Strife took one last swig of the elixir he'd been drinking on the long walk to Nibelheim. The town loomed before him now, ominous and eerie. Talk about a cover up...it was exactly the same as it had been five years before. The same buildings, the same cold mountain air...but definitely not the same sky. Meteor loomed above like a harbinger of doom, a flaming black orb like the Black Materia itself...

_And I looked, and behold, a pale-green horse, and he who was sitting on it was Death, and Hell followed with him._

Where had he heard that before? He couldn't remember. Even with his consciousness restored he couldn't remember some events. He shook his head and crushed the can of elixir in his hand, wincing at the strain that the motion placed on the wound in his right side. True, the elixir was healing it faster than it normally would have, but he'd left the Restore Materia with Tifa before heading out from the Highwind.

Cloud remembered the shock on everyone's faces when he insisted on visiting Nibelheim again...alone. Even the cold, secretive Vincent had looked worried.

"I need to sort things out before we go to the Crater," he'd explained. "With Sephiroth awakened...I don't know. My past, Aeris, even Sephiroth himself...I just need to get my thoughts together."

Tifa nodded. "I'll go with you."

Stubbornly, Cloud shook his head. "Not this time. I need to be alone."

Some decision, Cloud thought sarcastically as he limped into town. He'd had to fight at least twenty monsters before reaching the outskirts of Nibelheim, and he hadn't brought nearly enough elixirs as he should have. Not to mention that even though he'd wrapped it as best as he could, the wound in his side was throbbing unmercifully.

He didn't bother with the inn or general store, but instead went directly through the town, noticing the shutters slamming in the upper windows of the houses. People being forced to carry out a lie...Shinra might have been better off if they had left it burnt down, to hide Cloud's true past. But then again, who would perform the maintenance needed on the Reactor?

Cloud pushed the angry thoughts out of his head and focused on the mansion. This was where his journey had truly started...now he had to think about how it would end. If only he had been able to do something five years ago, to keep Sephiroth from falling into madness, maybe none of this would have happened...

He entered the mansion's front gate, his intense blue eyes scouting for any monsters that might be lurking in the windows or the long shadow cast by the setting sun. Surprisingly, there were none. The smell of damp and mildew nearly stung his nose as he walked up the creaky front steps to the door.

The mansion's interior looked decrepit as usual as Cloud stepped inside. Again, no monsters here, either. Perhaps they had sensed Meteor and fled for the safety of the mountains. Not that they'd be any safer there if Meteor fell...

Though he could see no enemies, he definitely sensed something in the mansion. Silently as possible he drew his Buster Sword and looked around. Still nothing...but the feeling was still there. Cloud headed up to the second floor, his sword held at the ready.

Whatever the feeling was, it seemed to be tugging at him, enticing him to enter the same bedroom he had stayed in five years ago. The same room where Zack had told him, normal at the time, but now fateful: "Sephiroth's in the basement. They've got a library down there...I wonder what he's looking for?"

He opened the door to the room...and found it pitch-dark. While he was running his hand against the wall for the light switch he heard a low purr of laughter...and two brilliant orbs of emerald fire appeared in the darkness. Cloud immediately gripped the hilt of his sword, holding it out before him in anticipation of an attack.

"_Sephiroth!_" he hissed.

Another purr of laughter, followed by that ever-familiar velvet voice. "So...you've come back...Cloud."

"Bastard," Cloud continued, using one hand to continue fumbling for the light. "You killed Aeris!"

"Don't turn on the light," Sephiroth warned, and Cloud could hear a strange fluttering, shifting sound. "Unless you really want to set eyes on my true form before our battle."

"You think I care?!" He fumbled for the switch again, feeling the tears form in his eyes. "You killed her! She was the only person I ever loved!"

His fingers found the switch at last and as the lights flickered on his jaw dropped in shock. "S-Sephiroth?!"

From the waist up, for the most part, it was the same Sephiroth he remembered. However, from the waist of the dark-cloaked man down was...three? No, _six_ snowy wings. He was sitting upright on the bed, two of the wings trailing in the dust that had collected on the floorboards, supporting himself with his left arm. In fact, it was the only good arm he now possessed...the other was lying across his lap—or, rather, what could pass for a lap—and had been transformed into a long, dark wing. The opalescent growth that went in a semicircle about his torso almost looked like a halo...

The halo of a fallen angel.

Sephiroth gave him a fraction of a smile and shifted his many wings. "Didn't I warn you? I wanted to keep the surprise for later...just now I was testing it out."

Cloud said nothing.

"But it truly hurts when you say that the girl was your _only_ love," Sephiroth continued, a slight, teasing pout on his lips. "We talked a bit before you arrived. Foolish, but very honest. She only wanted you to be happy. That's why she offered herself as a sacrifice in your place...though it looks like I will have to kill you anyway."

The younger man finally shook his head, recovering from his awe. "Shut up about Aeris! You don't know anything about her! And what do you mean?"

A slow grin spread across Sephiroth's face. "You mean you've forgotten? Poor boy...your mind must be blocking it from you. I personally can't blame you. I mean, after Nibelheim's destruction and all."

Cloud raised his sword, a venomous look in his eyes. "Shut up! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you here and now!"

Sephiroth's massive wings lifted him into the air easily, with the one dark wing held out for balance. Surprisingly, there was little air moving about the room from the steady beating of his wings. "It's very simple, Cloud. There are innocents in this town. The force of our battle could destroy this entire town."

As he moved closer Cloud found himself unable to move; in fact, he involuntarily lowered his sword. More mind control? Or was it Sephiroth's mere presence...? He didn't have time to think about his answer, for Sephiroth was no more than a foot away, his face close to Cloud's.

_How_...

Cloud looked down and realized that the wings were more of flesh than feathers...and they were wrapping around him possessively, loosening his grip on his sword, holding him close. The sword clattered to the floor as Sephiroth's one dark wing wrapped around the back of his neck. It was in all this warmth that Cloud realized he was fighting to keep his eyes open, to keep himself awake despite this delicious feeling of safety, of warmth and comfort. Sephiroth bent his face down to Cloud's neck, his breath tickling that special tender place in his skin. _How does he know that...?_

"And you don't want any more innocents to be hurt, do you Cloud?"

It was the last thing Cloud heard before slumping against Sephiroth's bare torso, locked in a deep sleep.


	2. Midnight

Disclaimer: FFVII? Mine?? I wish!

Author's Notes: I realize that I need to finish up my Shaman King yaoi fic, but this story's been bouncing around in my head ever since I started playing the game. And if I don't get it out soon, it'll just stew in my head and drive me insane (er). So "It Always Comes Back to Haunt You" is temporarily on hold. Now that the PSA is over, let's move on to Chapter Two!

Remembrance

Chapter Two: Midnight

Floating in warmth, Cloud turned over and smiled a bit. It felt nice, a gentle pressure, as if he were lying on his back soaking up the rays of the sun. He tried to turn over but found there was something huddled possessively close to him...

His eyes flew open. The warmth was still as pleasant as ever, and he felt an odd sense of security. But he quickly realized that he was, in fact, lying flat on his back in one of the bedrooms in Shinra Mansion. Where was Sephiroth...?

He looked down...and his eyes opened wide. The gentle winding limbs, graceful curves, long chestnut hair...it was like being in a dream. Shakingly, he reached up one hand and brushed the soft strands away from his companion's face. It was her after all..._Aeris_.

Cloud swallowed hard. "A-Aeris?"

She stirred at the mention of her name. Those intense green orbs opened slightly, and she looked up at him in wonder. "Cloud...is that really you?"

He sat up a bit, and realized that he was bare from the waist up. Thank whatever gods there were that Aeris was still clothed..."How... I mean, why..."

"I don't know," she whispered quietly. "I just woke up, and I was here..." She smiled a bit. "With you."

Cloud shook his head. "This isn't possible. It has to be a dream."

He flinched as Aeris playfully pinched his cheek. "Oww!"

"There...does it feel like a dream?"

He rubbed his cheek. "No...but Sephiroth...I saw him kill you."

Aeris snuggled closer, her body pressed firmly against his. "Oh Cloud, don't you get it? The Planet has brought me back! I've been given another chance."

"Another chance," Cloud repeated, letting the entire scene sink into his mind.

"Yes," she whispered, her breath at his neck. "And Cloud...there's no other place I would rather be right now than here, with you."

He shivered at the sensation and sat up fully, capturing her mouth to his, breathing in the scent of her hair and skin. _Almost like lilies..._

Aeris allowed him to deepen the kiss, entwining her fingers in his hair. Cloud was a bit surprised when she lay back on the bed, pulling him on top of her. He'd never known Aeris to be this way...she was always so shy and quiet.

As he craned his head to place soft kisses on her collarbone, there was again the faint smell of lilies. _Strange...when I held her that time..._

Cloud's mind flashed to when he held Aeris' lifeless body in his arms, waist deep in the clear crystalline lake below the City of the Ancients, gazing into the beautiful, serene face he would probably never see again...

He bent his head down slowly to whisper in her ear, breathing in the scent of her hair. "I'm sorry...Aeris."

Pulling back, he released Aeris' body, watching with tear-blurred vision as she sank into the depths. Ever since he hadn't been able to catch that blessed scent on the wind without thinking of Aeris. But it hadn't been that of lilies.

It was the scent of cherry blossoms.

Now realizing that something was wrong, he pulled away from the "resurrected" Aeris. "Wait...wait a minute."

"What's wrong, Cloud?" She sat up, embracing him tightly, her green eyes imploring him. "Aren't I beautiful to you?"

He was about to answer when Aeris eyes flashed bright iridescent green. Growling at Sephiroth's nerve—and indeed it was Sephiroth, disguised as Cloud's beloved flower girl—he flung his archenemy off the bed, knocking Sephiroth's illusion out. The silver-haired man propped himself up, his green eyes narrowed dangerously.

"That was a little uncalled for, don't you think?"

"You bastard," Cloud snapped, rubbing vigorously at his mouth as if to erase the memory of the kiss. "What the hell is your problem?! First you kill her, then you try to seduce me while masquerading as her?"

Sephiroth stood, obviously back to normal, brushing the dust from his dark jeans. "You know, Cloud...if you could remember clearly, you wouldn't be so uptight about just having kissed me."

Cloud looked frantically around for his weapon. "Shut up! Where's my sword? My Materia..."

"I took the liberty of hiding them," Sephiroth replied, his voice somewhat muffled by the strand of hair held between his teeth. He was pulling the majority of the silver strands back, tying it in place with small wisps. "Don't worry. I'll be giving them back in the morning."

"Listen, I don't know what you're trying to—"

He tried to finish, but in a split second Sephiroth had his hand cupped to Cloud's face, his mouth pressed firmly against the younger man's. _How did he move so fast?!_

Cloud twisted, trying to free himself from Sephiroth's grip. As Sephiroth began pushing him onto his back Cloud began shoving at his oppressor, even hitting at him with closed fists. He might have been beating at a statue, for Sephiroth pinned him easily, sitting on Cloud's stomach with his knees on Cloud's wrists.

As Sephiroth broke the kiss Cloud spat to the side. "Get off me!"

Sephiroth ignored him and bent his head down, kissing Cloud's neck again while his hands began a soft, insistent stroking across Cloud's chest.

His blue eyes blazing with defiance, Cloud thrashed violently. "I _said_ get off!"

But whether it was his enemy's careful ministrations, or the annoying sense of deja vu that kept playing in his head, Cloud found his will dissipating. Every touch and gentle kiss reminded him of...something. He wished he could remember...!

As Sephiroth kissed him again, this time much deeper, Cloud felt himself float away from the entire scene and into the depths of his scattered memory.


	3. Long Forgotten, Part One

Disclaimer: FFVII is not mine. The characters are thankful for that.

Author's Notes: Heh...I could never beat Sephiroth's' second form. But I was drooling over him too much to even care. He's such a pretty angel-boy. So I started on a new game and I'm currently in the process of getting to the Temple of the Ancients. Sneaky, sneaky Cait Sith... Anyway, here's Chapter Three!

To Blue Water Elf: Actually, Cloud would. It's kinda implied that Sephiroth was using a Sleepel.

Oh, and to the ones who have the problem with the shonen-ai of the fic, you know who you are: AERIS IS DEAD. She's dead in this fic. Not gonna show up. Nada. Zilch. I'm not being mean, but the summary DOES say that it's shonen-ai (guy on guy love). I know I don't have a problem with yaoiness. Us fangirls love it! Right, girls?

::crickets are heard in the distance::

Um, girls????

Remembrance

Chapter Three: Long Forgotten, Part One

Sixteen-year-old Cloud Strife let out a heavy sigh as he walked through the empty midnight halls, his boots scuffing the tile floor a bit. "I joined up to be a coffee boy?! This sucks..."

He stifled a yawn and balanced both steaming Styrofoam cups in one hand as he put his other hand to the ID panel just outside the sparring room door. A quick whir as the computer read his handprint, and the door slid open. He was about to transfer one of the cups to his other hand when he realized he was on the floor, his body tingling with pain. Overhead were voices...

"Nice going, Seph. I think you killed him."

"He's not dead. Besides, it was _your_ Demi spell."

"If you'd have just taken the hit..."

"Ha ha, funny. It's not like I knew he was there."

"So much for those 'instincts' of yours."

Cloud reached out an aching hand. Why was he in so much pain? "Wha..."

"Don't move," the deeper of the voices replied. There was the sound of footsteps, then the sensation of a hand on his back. "Let's see...a normal Cure spell should do it."

A warm sensation spread through his entire body, erasing the intense pain. He felt his strength return and he sat up...and found himself looking straight into an intense pair of iridescent green eyes.

The face that the eyes were attached to smiled gently. "You okay? Sorry about that spell. Seems that someone's aim is more than a little off."

Still in awe of the beauty of this person, Cloud only nodded. The black clothes contrasted sharply against the pale skin and long silver hair. The metal of the armor across the stranger's shoulders glinted in the harsh fluorescent lighting of the room.

A peal of teasing laughter rang out, this time from a man whose long dark hair was nearly as spiky as Cloud's own. "Don't let it fool you, kid. First time I saw him, I thought he was a woman, too!"

The silver-haired stranger shot a venomous look at his companion. "Shut up! Don't forget that _you_ were so convinced that you actually made a pass at me!"

Cloud blushed; anyone could tell by the voice and mannerisms that this was obviously a man. "I-I'm sorry. Someone told me to bring coffee here, so..."

"You mean those jerks we chased out of here?" the dark-haired man scratched the back of his head absent-mindedly. "Yeah, they always have a tendency to have the new guy go on coffee rounds. What're they called again?"

The other man stood, using an incredibly long sword to help bring himself to his full imposing height. "They're with Shinra Public Safety—the Turks."

"Yeah, yeah," the other said, swinging his own massive sword onto his shoulder. "Public Safety, my ass..."

"Sorry about my friend here," the other stranger said, helping Cloud to his feet. "This is Zack, and I'm Sephiroth."

Cloud froze at the name. Sephiroth...the Great Sephiroth. "I'm Cloud. Cloud Strife..."

Over the next several weeks Cloud did everything that was required of him in his regular duties, just so he could go to the sparring room and watch Zack and Sephiroth test their skills against one another. Mostly it was Sephiroth he watched. Everything the silver-haired man did made the battle seem more like a dance. There was a graceful flow to his movements that Cloud could never possibly match.

On one day was just like the others. Cloud was sitting in a chair, his legs straddling the sides, his hands and chin propped on the back as his bright eyes watched every movement. Then Zack called a breather. "Whew! I'm beat. I'd have to train for five hundred years and I'd never reach your level."

Sephiroth only chuckled.

Zack walked up to where Cloud was sitting, ruffling the boy's hair as usual as he bent to collect a water bottle and towel. "Having fun, kid?"

Cloud did his best to smooth his wayward hair back into place. "It'd be a lot more fun if I could fight with you guys."

Sephiroth sat in the chair next to Cloud, stretching his legs out and holding the concave edge of his sword against the back of his neck. "What's stopping you?"

"Well..." Cloud blushed before looking down. "I never made it into SOLDIER. I always wanted to be just like you, but I just wasn't cut out for it. My friend at home would be embarrassed...I made a promise that I would join SOLDIER and..."

His voice trailed off. What would Tifa think of him now? He couldn't stand the thought of her and her friends all laughing at his failure...

"Where are you from?" Zack suddenly asked.

"Huh? Oh...Nibelheim."

Sephiroth seemed thoughtful for a moment. "That's where we're headed next."

"Tell you what, kid." Zack sat cross-legged on the floor, taking a sip of water. "We'll pull some strings and get you to tag along. Then we'll both put in a good word for you. With two high-ranking guys like us recommending it, there's no way they won't put you in SOLDIER."

Cloud's eyes brightened. "_Really_? You'd do that?"

He turned to Sephiroth to see his reaction. The older man smiled and nodded slightly.

"Thanks! I...I mean, well..."

Zack laughed. "No need to stutter about it. Here—test out your skills." He offered the hilt of his sword to Cloud.

Taking the sword, Cloud marveled at how light it was. "Wow...is this mythril?"

"Mythril-reinforced." Zack gave him a mischievous grin. "Think it would be a match against the famous Murasame?"

"Mura...same...?"

Sephiroth gave him a bit of a smirk and tapped his own blade.

Cloud's eyes widened. "Uh...n-no. I mean, the Murasame is the ultimate weapon, right?"

"The ultimate _known_ weapon," Zack replied, laughing as he shoved Cloud out onto the sparring room floor. "'Sides, only one way to find out..."

"H-hey, come on, guys," Cloud nervously protested. "You're n-not really gonna..."

He cursed as Sephiroth confidently strolled to the opposite side of the "arena". "Come on! This isn't fair!"

"Ready, Sephiroth?"

Sephiroth gave Cloud one of his trademark half-smiles. At the same time he held his enormous sword at the ready. "What do you think?"

"Ready, Cloud?"

He shot a pleading glance at Zack, who looked on the verge of laughter. "_No!_"

"And..._fight!_"

"W-wait a minute! I haven't used a sword in my..."

Then he realized that Sephiroth was coming at him full speed. He screamed, holding the Buster Sword above his head to ward off the blow... But it never came.

Cloud nervously looked up to see Sephiroth putting his sword back into the sheath at his belt. "Huh?"

Zack's laughter reverberated through the room. "That was a good one, kid! You should've seen the look on your face!"

Confused, the boy looked up at Sephiroth, who looked like he was about to laugh too. "It was...a joke?"

Sephiroth chuckled and offered his hand to the trembling boy. "You're going to have to do much better than that if you want to make SOLDIER First Class."

Overcome with rage, Cloud struggled to his feet, leaving Zack's sword on the floor. "Is that all my dream is to you? A joke?!"

"Ah, c'mon, kid," Zack said with a grin. "We were just jerking your chain, that's all."

"You have dreams too, right?" Cloud clenched his hands into fists. "So how would _you_ feel if someone made a joke about them?"

Zack finally seemed to be getting the picture. "Cloud..."

He blinked his tears back so hard that it hurt. "Just leave me alone! I guess I was wrong about you guys! I thought you were better than that!"

Ignoring Zack's protests, Cloud ran from the room.


	4. Long Forgotten, Part Two

Disclaimer: FFVII is not mine, but with the help of some duct tape and a chair, Cloud is.

Cloud: bound and gagged in the chair with duct tape Mmmf! Mmmmffmmmmff!!!

Author's Notes: I really didn't want to cut that chapter in half, but I tried posting a _very_ long X/99 fic and cut out some of the dialogue. So due to my paranoia, Part Two of Cloud's memories about Sephiroth is here for your enjoyment. That, and I wanted you to suffer. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!! ahem Well, just enjoy the fic...

Remembrance

Chapter Four: Long Forgotten, Part Two

Later that evening Cloud was alone in his room. He'd been so distraught that he hadn't eaten anything at dinner, and now his stomach growled in agitation. Lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling, he realized that maybe he'd been a little harsh on his two friends...after all, they'd admitted it was only a joke.

He sat up and rubbed the back of his neck. Then again, Sephiroth never seemed the type for practical jokes. Every newspaper article Cloud had read about him, every interview on TV...everything had portrayed him as quiet and reserved. But even Cloud knew that people could act differently when in the company of friends...

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. Slowly, he rolled off the bed, crossed to the door, and opened it. Sephiroth was there, his silver hair glowing almost as intensely as his eyes in the lights of the city filtering through Cloud's window. Cloud froze in his presence, his blood tingling in his veins. If angels really existed, maybe this was what they looked like...

"May I come in, or are you going to stand there staring?"

Cloud blushed slightly. "Sorry."

He moved out of the way, and Sephiroth stepped in, closing the door behind him. The General sat at the foot of Cloud's bed, his Mako eyes glowing like emerald embers in the dim light from the desk lamp. Cloud merely stood there, unsure of what to do, or even if he should move at all.

Sephiroth looked up at him finally, a strange mix of emotions in his expression. "I truly apologize for what happened today. We didn't know you would take it as hard as you did. We weren't trying to insult you—when we said we would help you, it was serious."

Cloud swallowed. "I'm the one who should apologize. I acted really stupid. But it's always been my dream to join SOLDIER...mostly because of you. You always seem so calm, even in battle. I thought that maybe..." He felt the tears in his eyes, and he angrily raised his bare forearm to wipe them away. "Maybe the kids in Nibelheim wouldn't laugh at me."

He heard Sephiroth's footsteps and, sure that the General would leave, he laughed bitterly. "I guess I shouldn't be in SOLDIER at all, I cry so easily."

Feeling a hand on his cheek, Cloud looked up in surprise. He blushed sharply when he realized that Sephiroth's face was no more than five inches away from his own. The green eyes seemed to swallow up all the available light until only their own ethereal glow remained. Cloud became only vaguely aware that his tears were openly coursing down his cheeks; he was too preoccupied in wondering why his heart was beating so rapidly.

"S-Sephiroth...?"

Cloud gasped as the angel bent forward and drank in the tears with soft, tender kisses. When he was finished he looked back at Cloud with that same mix of emotion—of sadness, of hope, of calm, even of fear.

"I know how it feels," he said quietly. "All my life my own dreams have been smashed. Never once have I been allowed to follow my path—I've been forced to follow the path that Shinra has given me. Besides..." He slowly ran his thumb across Cloud's lower lip. "Even soldiers cry sometimes."

As Sephiroth pressed his mouth against Cloud's the sensation was intense, almost heavenly. His mind swallowed up by emotion, he was only half aware of falling backwards onto his bed, with Sephiroth falling with him...

That had been the only time they had gone that far, but in the few weeks leading up to the trip to Nibelheim they somehow found time for at least _something_ together. Sephiroth (and to a lesser extent, Cloud) insisted on secrecy, lest someone in Shinra named Hojo start poking and prodding and asking awkward questions. So with the threat of a non-fairytale mad scientist hanging over them like the angry green clouds of an approaching tornado, Cloud picked up the habit of looking at the walls for hidden cameras or glancing over his shoulder to see if he were being followed.

A quick embrace here, a kiss in some dimly lit corner there—Cloud never really minded that Sephiroth was almost too busy for their relationship. He was happy just by knowing that Sephiroth was always there for him.

Then for three entire days Sephiroth disappeared completely. Cloud tried to rationalize it at first, but after the second day he was nearly losing his mind. He finally asked Zack where he thought Sephiroth might be.

"Oh, yeah. Snow White's at Headquarters about this time every year. Not sure what goes on, but he comes back a little moodier than usual."

On the evening of the third day Cloud was lying on his bed, his forearms tucked behind his head. Just when he remembered Zack's reply and began wondering if "moodier" was even a word there was a knock at his door. He smiled to himself as he rolled off the bed and went to answer it.

_Sephiroth_...

He was disappointed when he saw Zack standing in the hall. But when he realized that the Gongaga native was almost as pale as Sephiroth he opened the door fully. "Zack? What's wrong? I mean, what—"

"Sephiroth's back."

Cloud brightened at the words. "Really?! Where is—"

"Shut up and let me finish," Zack replied as he entered the room, closing the door behind him. "Like I said, he's back...but something's wrong. I saw him in his room and..."

His voice faded.

"Tell me," Cloud urged. By now his heart was pounding like a hammer in his chest. Had something terrible happened to Sephiroth?

Zack sighed. "He was...trying to kill himself."

Cloud's heart now stopped beating for the length of two full seconds. When it resumed he swallowed hard. "W-what? Why would he..."

"I don't know." Zack eased into the chair at Cloud's desk and leaned back, crossing his arms. "I heard he was back, so I went up to his room to cheer him up. He had a loaded Peacemaker to his head about ready to blow his brains out. Good thing I was able to stop him."

He hesitated again, then finished: "I think that's about the only time I've been able overpower him. He was so depressed he couldn't even fight back..."

Finally he looked up at Cloud. "He's close to you, kid...he won't tell _me_ anything. Would you at least talk to him?"

Cloud thought for a moment, taking in all that Zack had said. He nodded after only a short time. "I'll do it."

"Sephiroth?"

No answer.

Cloud knocked softly on the door. "Sephiroth...it's me, Cloud. Can I come in?"

Again, no answer.

"Sephiroth, listen," Cloud said, trying to keep his voice even as he turned the doorknob. "I know you're depressed and Zack—"

Blood.

As Cloud swung the door open fully saw that one entire area in the carpet was soaked in the sticky red substance. The smell mixed with the smell of incense and gave off an unusual odor—like that of calla lilies.

While staring at the grim scene Cloud realized he was not alone. Sephiroth was sitting at the foot of the bed, inspecting a knife. He was bare from the waist up, his abdomen swathed in bandages that were also drenched in blood.

As Cloud stepped forward Sephiroth looked up in surprise. "Cloud...what are you doing here?"

He blinked his tears back. "Zack told me what you tried to do. You almost did it again, right? Or...you did..."

Sephiroth turned his gaze to the huge bloodstain on the floor. "It doesn't matter. I can't kill myself no matter what I try."

Cloud sat beside him, staring at the knife's red stains. "What do you mean?"

The green-eyed angel looked back at him with such self-loathing that Clod felt like crying all over again. Slowly Sephiroth turned both the knife and his wrist so they were held over the floor. "Watch. Don't interfere."

Before Cloud could protest Sephiroth jabbed the knife into his wrist. Gritting his teeth in pain he gave the blade a wicked twist that caused the blood to trickle down and drop to the floor. Despite the gruesome spectacle Cloud found himself staring at the blood; again, there was the overpowering smell of lilies, but the crimson drops were more unusual than just their smell. It almost reminded Cloud of the gel-ink pens that Tifa used—the drops glittered in the light with an eerie purple hue.

Finally Sephiroth wrenched the knife free and stared at the wound like it was an abomination. "Watch carefully."

Cloud gasped as the gaping wound quivered and pulsed, then began to close. "W-what the—"

"I accidentally cut myself on a piece of glass at Headquarters," Sephiroth explained. "The nurse went to get a bandage, but it was already healed..." He held his wrist close to his body. "I've noticed it before, in battle. I would feel the wound but it would be gone by the time I was able to attend to it. I can't even bleed right."

Hiding his face with his arms, Sephiroth drew his knees up onto the bed, his entire body trembling. "What's wrong with me? Am I even human? If not—what am I?"

With tears flowing down his own face, Cloud shifted forward and pried the knife from Sephiroth's fingers. He threw it down and cradled his lover's upper torso in his arms, resting Sephiroth's head on his shoulder.

"It's okay," he said quietly. "You're human, I know you are. Tomorrow we'll go to Nibelheim and when we come back everything will be okay."

He kissed the silken silver of the ivory strands as he whispered:

"I promise."


	5. Parting of Ways

Disclaimer: FFVII is still not mine, and Cloud somehow escaped. So I got Reno instead!

Reno: Oo;; Um...hi?

Author's Notes: squee I got to see a whole bunch of screenshots from Advent! Reno looks sooo adorable!! Is it just me, or can anyone else picture him with an Irish brogue? ahem Anyway...anyone who knows their Japanese culture well should know what Sephiroth tried to do before Cloud walked in. For those who don't know, he was trying to commit seppuku, Japanese ritual suicide. Another term is hara-kiri. Well, here's the last chapter, ya'll. I'll be seeing ya at the bottom! leaps to bottom of page

Remembrance

Chapter Five: Parting of Ways

"I promise."

Cloud awakened to his own words echoing in his head. He remembered everything now...about Zack and Sephiroth...and himself. He turned over and gazed at the silver-haired angel beside him. The look of madness and sadism was gone from Sephiroth's face as he slept. What had he read in the basement that had driven him over the edge?

Probably, Cloud thought bitterly, everything. Lucrecia, Jenova, even Hojo. He shuddered. Even he would go insane if he found out that Hojo was his father...

Slowly, he rolled out of bed so he wouldn't awaken Sephiroth and dressed as fast as he could. He would have to leave his Buster Sword and Materia behind and buy a new sword before heading to the Crater. While he was strapping on his armor he looked down at Sephiroth again. The Crater...he didn't have a choice. When the time came, he would have to kill his beloved angel.

Cloud tiptoed out of the room and began his descent toward the front door. He knew what Sephiroth had been trying to do here by awakening his memories and seducing him; it hadn't worked. He was still very much in love with Aeris. The only difference was he now remembered that he had once loved Sephiroth, lifetimes and eons ago...

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice the tall figure standing in the doorway. Only when he heard the voice did he realize that Sephiroth was even there.

"Leaving so soon?"

Startled, Cloud took two or three steps back. Sephiroth was standing fully dressed with his back to the door, Cloud's sword resting against the wall to his left. A pillowcase sat next to it, apparently containing Cloud's Materia, the open part in a knot.

"I didn't think you'd be willing to leave without these," Sephiroth said, nodding toward the items. "Or without saying goodbye."

"I guess you were wrong," replied Cloud.

They were silent for a long time; finally Sephiroth broke the tension. "I knew you were coming here. Listen, Cloud...I want you to join me."

"You mean sacrifice myself like your zombie pals? Thanks, but no thanks. I have plenty to live for."

"That's not what I meant." Sephiroth moved forward, his black cloak whispering as he walked. He placed his hand on Cloud's shoulder. "After Meteor destroys this world, I will remake it with Gaea intact. I have the power...the world will be as it was meant to be, with the Cetra finally able to settle and be at peace. I will make sure that your friends are reincarnated in my new world...but I want only you by my side, Cloud."

He lowered his head an nuzzled Cloud's neck. "I'm a god now...I can make you the same. Together we will—"

Cloud pulled away. "Why? Why do you want to destroy everything? This world...everything I know and love? My parents...my town...even Aeris! What's it all _for_?!"

It was a long time before Sephiroth answered. "Don't you feel it, Cloud? It's in the wind...the water...the earth itself. This planet is suffering, and whether in ten years or one hundred years it will die because of what Shinra has done. With Meteor on its current course, it will destroy everything. But with my new power, I will bring Gaea back to life and everything will start all over again."

Cloud looked back at Sephiroth. The look of madness was gone...did Sephiroth really mean what he said? No, he quickly realized. There was something else...a look in his eyes that said the complete opposite, but not in a negative or maniacal way.

"I don't really think it's the world's suffering you want to end," he said quietly.

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow in a questioning way. "What do you mean?"

Cloud gave him a wry smile. "No...I know it's not the world's suffering you want to end. In fact, it's not even the world that's suffering. Gaea knows she'll someday mend. But I know who's really suffering in this world, with no one else to commiserate with than the alien parasite that's twisting him physically _and_ mentally."

There was that all-too-familiar accusing expression. "And who," Sephiroth hissed, stepping menacingly forward, "would that be? Little Cloud."

Cloud backed into one of the dusty old beams in the foyer. "Don't you know yourself? It's _you_."

Sephiroth's hand shot out and gripped his jaw. "You know _nothing_ about me. How _dare_ you insult Mother! You're just like _them_."

Wincing at Sephiroth's vice-like grip Cloud stared straight back into the fathomless green eyes. Sephiroth's face was so close to his own that Cloud could see the combined turquoise light of their Mako eyes reflected on Sephiroth's face.

"She's not your mother, Sephiroth."

"_Liar_!" Sephiroth growled, moving his free hand down to Cloud's wounded side. "Take it back."

"Your real mother was a lady named Lucrecia," Cloud replied calmly. "I've met her. She's very kind...she wouldn't want you to do this. Especially not to me."

"I said take it back," Sephiroth hissed, and rammed his thumb into the still-open wound.

Cloud gritted his teeth and hissed back, but in pain. "Your mother is Lucrecia! And your father..." He inhaled sharply as Sephiroth shoved his thumb in deeper. "Your father is Hojo!"

Those seemed to be the magic words that broke the spell Jenova had over Sephiroth. The silver-haired man pulled his thumb from Cloud's side and stared at him in shock...and horror. "You're not lying...are you?"

Cloud pressed one hand to his freshly bleeding side. "No...it's Jenova who's the liar. She's using you to do what she can't...destroy Gaea once and for all."

Sephiroth finally released Cloud's face and stepped back. "I'm...a puppet? Just like all the others...? This can't be possible. If I could just...no." He hid his face in his hands. "There's nothing I can do...Meteor has been summoned. I can't...I just can't...there's no turning back..."

He looked up at Cloud, tears streaming down his face. "Cloud? When you get there...will you..."

Cloud could feel the tears welling in his own eyes. "No turning back," he repeated.

Sephiroth nodded, the remains of a familiar smile dancing across his face. "That's what I thought. You knew from the beginning, didn't you?"

He nodded; he couldn't bear to look into Sephiroth's face.

A mistake.

Something rammed him hard into the wall. Cloud's eyes flew open despite the pain, and he found himself staring into the eyes of a true maniac. "S-Sephiroth?!"

"Was that what you were expecting?" Sephiroth shouted, a malevolent grin in place of the lover's smile. "You stupid little traitor! I won't be swayed by your lies. Mother told me just how you lied. _And Mother_ _always knows best!!_"

Cloud shut his eyes tightly against the assault. _Please, Gaea...let it end...I can't stand..._ His thoughts were interrupted as a sharp pain spread throughout his cheek. _I can't stand seeing him like this..._

Finally Sephiroth's breath was right on his lips. "I'll see you at the Crater. I loved you once, Cloud...I even gave you the chance to stand beside me as a god in your own right. But I suppose your 'emotions' have the better of you."

With a final rough kiss, full of more hatred and bitterness that Cloud would have cared to feel in five lifetimes, Sephiroth was gone. Cloud opened his eyes and looked around him. When he realized he was at last alone he touched the spot on his cheek where Sephiroth had slapped him. His angel...his bright angel...

_The one who once shined brightest in the heavens..._

_Has Fallen._

"Hey, Cloud!"

"Glad you're back!"

"We were getting worried, ya know..."

"You spiky-headed bastard! You're late!"

Cloud ignored the greetings of his friends (and the abuse from Cid) as he stepped onto the Highwind. He was fighting tooth and nail for his tears not to fall...

"Cloud?"

He looked up into Tifa's worried face. "Hey."

"What happened to your face?" she asked in concern. "It looks almost as if you were... Oh my God! You're bleeding!"

He brushed past her. "...It's nothing."

"Cloud! Wait!"

Before he punched the panel to cause the door to his quarters slide shut he heard Vincent's voice. "Leave him be. It seems he has more questions than answers."

Cloud smiled faintly. _Thank Gaea for Vincent_.

Then, unable to stand it any longer, he slumped to the floor, burying his face in his hands. He let the tears stream down his face and the sobs rock his body, hoping somewhere deep down that he would drown in his own despair.

_I haven't cried so hard...since that day..._

Author's Notes 2: Aaaand the end. I cried while typing this chapter! It's so sad—you think that maybe Sephiroth's going to redeem himself because of Cloud's good deeds, but then it becomes clear that he's not. Poor Cloud! About the lines about the Fallen...I dunno. Maybe I've been reading Angel Sanctuary way too much. A similar inscription is on the frontispiece in Volume 1. It seemed to fit with the way Cloud felt about Sephiroth. (Besides, if Sephiroth had been redeemed, this fic wouldn't be able to fit in with the storyline of the game. )

Unofficial Soundtrack: "In the End" by Linkin Park and "My Immortal" by Evanescence

Favorite Moment: Let's see...it would have to be when Cloud was comforting Sephiroth in Chapter Four. _Awwwww!!_ What was _your_ favorite moment?


End file.
